Wednesday, July 4, 2007

6-24-07

Sat night Catherine and I met Rachel for a drink at the corner café, which is a little bar-ish place. We thought we were going to go dance but it didn't happen. My mom called as we walked and it was great to talk to her. Getting phone calls is the bomb! We had some really interesting conversation about colonialism and oppression here and racism in the states. It was really great to have such different perspectives come together to discuss things. Talking about culture I mentioned that I felt like I didn't have a culture. It is interesting because some things have been so "normalized" that we don't see them as cultural but they are. It is also interesting to think about culture in America because people are so different and there are so many different cultures. After that discussion I felt like I wanted to really analyze my life and find out my culture.

More processing. Not intentionally analyzing things but just sitting with down time and my brain keeps working. Who am I and what of worth to I have to offer and if anything how do I "give" it to these people, this area? I know that there is a part of being here that is for me and that is something that is hard to swallow. At the same time I know that God is teaching me and molding me using this experience and that I am going to be able to share so much and learn so much. Finding my part here in the culture is still important though. I guess my part is in the classroom. I have realized that I am here to get more critical thought into practice, methodology, and technique. It is odd that I am in that role because it seems to be a very mature role and I am still such a novice, but I am here doing what I can. I do think that there will be progress and that this program will be beneficial but I don't know if I will actually see it and it may be very slow in coming. One of the biggest obstacles in the math classroom is the syllabus and the focus on the national tests. It seems very rigid and strict. However, Patrick has made some changes and really seems to be open to trying things and doing his own thing to a certain extent. Another obstacle that seems to be across the board is that Ugandan teachers know what to do and can tell you all about it but implementation is just not there. They can spout of test answers to method and technique questions but they do not implement the theories in their practice. The absence of critical thinking is definitely a result of colonialism and it is so difficult to show someone that they are not critically thinking when they think they are and they really have no reference point as to what real critical thought is. Lastly, the absence of formative assessment means it is hard to track progress and effectiveness of lessons.

I think it is good that I am here but if I am going to do this again I would love to plan workshops and things like that along with teaching because I think that would be very beneficial.

Bryan, Catherine, Phil, and I discussed our time in the camp. I think we felt our presence was not really taken well and sort of invasive. It is tough because it is good to experience because it just isn't real on tv but it is not good because of the impact your presence can make and such. The "disguise" of doing a job felt very contrived and fake. How to make that a reality and still maintain integrity and dignity of the people in the camp is a question we wrestled with.

Later that night I was just sitting around. Being in a crowded house but feeling alone is a strange thing. Its funny because I feel like we are really close but there is still a part of me that feels far away and unknown to people here. I have really realized that learning to let people in at home and the relationships that I have there really make a difference in my life. I am so blessed to have such close friends that are my family.

We cooked Sunday dinner again and it was super fun. I love to cook!

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